Good Enough, Sarah McLachlan

Don’t tell me why…it’s simply not good enough.

There is nothing with this Sarah McLachlan’s song that drew (and halt) me…It instantly played in my head when I entered my room. I browsed for it in the music player and played it.

It may be the piano or her voice. You deserve more than this. Not even the lyrics because I don’t honestly understand them. I don’t know the story behind her song. I am just too drawn on the song; I played it repeatedly.

The melody is soothing. So much more than good enough. It never loses its charm even on the fifth straight play. Just let me try and I will be good to you. Just let me try and I will be there for you…there is so much more than good enough.

Sigh.

I still wonder why it caught me even on its seventh play. I don’t understand, you deserve more than this.

I had dreams of you again, but I don’t know if they were bad. It’s a…long way home…I don’t have to pretend, she doesn’t expect from me…don’t tell me I haven’t been there for you. They just woke me at the middle of some deep sleeps.

Now, the song is on its ninth play. Don’t tell me I haven’t been there for you. I scratch my head this time. I wanted to cry along with the instrumental. What for? It’s simply not good enough. My tears are your laughter, probably [on the 10^th play].

“It’s simply not good enough,” I quip. No! Quipping isn’t…the right word. I’d leave that to God, instead.

On the 12^th play, at 11pm, I already wanted to stop the song, but I just can’t press stop. “It’s simply not good enough.”

The song seems to be forever, but I really need to sleep or read. Good night, dear

 

[song still playing]

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My Cebu Run, NFA, Chevy and shadowy drivers

constantly navigating Google map, i run a new track today. destination? Asiatown IT Park. i was instantly in a void. too focused on finding the way to my destination (getting lost, per se). where is NFA? where is Chevrolet? asa ang skena (kanto or corner) pa-IT? I told myself. 

focus seems to void me of my cluttered wandering. it felt like im not thinking and not receptive of my surrounding. i even barely noticed Banilad Fruit Stand. but one vendor caught my eye. 

i run, too mindful of my destination and of course, street thugs, pollution and being hit by a jeepney. i didnt enjoy this run-my first run in Cebu. i even rarely look at the beautiful new moon and sing along with Diego Mapa. 

for two weeks, i failed convincing myself to run in the city because i already heard too many jeepneys cruising the street at 4:30am. plus, i didnt know where to run. i have a map, but was quite apprehensive of street thugs. you dont feel that in Davao City. my home city is really safe. im not adventurous, but i wont pull of f once im in. im not a risk taker, but rather a calculated risk taker. 

i then saw the corner, a shortcut (sure cut) to IT Park. i was about to cross the street to take that cut, but i pulled of upon a glimpse of two shadowy trisikul (ya! any word that ends with "le", like title and tricycle, are pronounced as "ul", like taytul and trisikul) drivers. 

then i saw NFA and Chevrolet. yey! 

im closer now. i know, because im starting to see call center agents (this will be another story, if id digress again)...and my jogging classmates. 

im on a real run now. my mind wandered again and im quite enjoying my music again. i took three rounds and stopped at 30th minute. i wanted to try walking back home through the shortcut (Jose dela Paz St.), but the free wireless internet is just irresistable. 

so i walk back to my jog route. it was only then i realized that the city has filthy garbages on the superhighway. you rarely see this in Davao City. but fairly, Cebu City has a good dawn breeze. i waited near the flyover. Yugo, a small yogurt store with bottomless coffee, is nearby. it was a cute store, built on a container van and furnished with large glass windows, white chairs and dark pink window shade. hmmm...nice business concept. 

i rode the jeepney back home. the reddish morning horizon is showing up. my day is complete. thanks to Pinky, a fun-to-be with boardmate. i jogged again :)

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20 somethings

you finish school, probably, at this age

either you look for a job or rest awhile

when you find one, you jubilate

but your idealism...often fails you to enjoy your (often) low-paying job or challenge your fresh wits

of course, you dont have much choice

you are a fresh grad

you splurge instead

buy all the fancies you fail to have back in college

travel. eat and splurge

you wake up one day, wanting more

you want to be a better person this time

you want change. you need change

there! you suddenly are "in" the (harsh) reality...in the real world

you work. some overwork. some really work

then everything seem to be in your control

you become invincible

you become free, independent and attuned to the world

you feel you can do everything...even without any help

oh, you need some companion pala 

then you look for one. but nah! they are not as important

surprisingly...you keep one

youthfulness isnt over at all, sadly

you still are after something new

you splurge more

buy more 

travel more. eat more and splurge more and keep more companions

you change eventually

become more invincible, freer, independent and can do more without any help

you leave...the world

then realize...you cant do everything pala without any help

you look for a new job or rest awhile

when you find one, you jubilate

you start change again

a real change

ahhh 20s. 

it was a stupid stage, but a turning point

welcome 30s

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20s

hahay....

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wala!

Ang sarap mawala, magwala, maligaw sa mundong tulala - radioactive sago project

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Love

it ain't love if it is tainted with pride 

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Cebu B!

puthaw is for bakal/steel, yawi is for yabi/key, sud is for sulod/inside, bay is for balay/house

 

this is it! im finally in Cebu...hopefully and not hopefully, for good. i love the city, but i love Davao most. i love my work, workmates and boardmates. they're warm and talkative. so, i really fit in here hehe.

 

i hope though i wont get their hard accent. for one, i dont want to be laughed at like i do them. Cebu is great with its nightlife, but Davao still has the coldest and cheapest beer and Mati still is my deathbed.

 

for now, id enjoy Cebu and their language. daot!! hehehe

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