UNDERSTANDING AND BEING UNDERSTOOD

what really is in me that im often literally misunderstood? are my words hardly understandable? do i deliver confusing messages? do i talk in juxtapose of topics? or do i just use jargons? am i bound to talk less? well, it is what people seem to suggest. on the other hand, why do i hardly understand people - their actions and attitudes are the hardest? why cant i understand their point (their words) in a snap? do i really complicate things? or am i really overcritical?

in both ways, I DO NOT KNOW AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

maybe, id work myself to understand and be understood. but the second is far beyond my control. so i guess, id set a below par expectation on being understood. understanding people, like me, is more than understanding spoken words (forbid me for the teaching i am not good at).

on POOR UNDERSTANDING
maybe i get it from my frequent discourses with people who bended meanings of words just to win in the conversation. or maybe grown-ups are just too complicated or im too naive on things or worst, im aging. tsk tsk tsk...Little Prince indeed was true when he said, "language is the source of misunderstanding." well, i think, i just lack fish intake. hmmm. must be my food intake. according to researches, breakfasts are necessary for brains to work well in the day. i rarely take breakfast since ive worked. so it must really be my food intake. moreover, according to my aunts, i used to eat my shit and fall on my head from my crib.

oh my God! this is tragic. id never have the chances anymore of understanding things. im doomed by my childhood indulgences. note for future parents: never leave your babies in the crib alone. they do crazy things.

on POORLY UNDERSTOOD
i am complicated, they say. and somehow im gradually agreeing with the roaring complains. a call so alarming that i think i need to go for an early Holy Week for self-check. should i finally shed my true identity? should i now quit C.I.A.? i am really doomed! heck i love my work but if id retire, i wont be getting my Christmas bonuses. maybe later next year.

but why should i worry when people dont understand me? one, i need to stand up my state of being a "social being." two, i have a great plan of herding idiots. if these idiots cant understand me, my empire would never grow. so to all people who constantly on the bully sideline, i HONESTLY (way atik) APPRECIATE your rantings. keep it going because your rants are signals that i still have my sanity - sanity of being better in life.

for this, id leave you Little Prince (again), "that is the hardest thing of all. It is much harder to judge yourself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself, it's because you're truly a wise man."