Sunday. I took my nephew (no, not the one crying) to SM Wonderland. Just as i duck down to enter the playground or rather a safehouse for children of shopping parents, i begun reflecting.
Am i ready to parent?
NO! Was the quick answer. To children, the playground really was a wonderland. To me, it was a horror house with real little monsters. Shrieking, crying, shouting, running, petty tug-of-wars over toys, throwing toys etc etc etc. Not i didnt have colorful child years, but everything a normal kid does best horrified me. I simply cant attend such new need yet when i still have my selfish needs to accomplish. Though i practically lack focus in my life, i still believe accomplishing one thing before another. Otherwise, the meat remains raw. And though i highly tolerate most things including children, i am not sufficiently responsible parent yet-financially, emotionally. I cannot take bringing in another life on earth, as biblically demanded, and shortly cutting it because of hunger, disease, ignorance and sadness.
I believe God always provides and even poor families could still subsist, but i think multiplying is less greater than stewarding a better life.
I then remembered a toy hit my shoulder when i was starting this. I hope it wasn't God's strike of disapproval, rather a affirmative tap at my back, saying, "you get it right there, son" :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment