Greta asked about the Jews and the Israelites. I explained briefly their history, from crossing the Red Sea to turnover of Israel after WWII. When I uncertainly concluded, "Jews are Israelites," I realized I dont have a personal relationship with God―I barely know His history. Everyone knows about the history of the people whom they relate with. If not, then they dont have a relationship, unless they are paparazzis or had Googled it. Since studying God's history (His past/origin is another issue) is lengthy, I took a sure cut (shortcut, I mean: personally talk, not chat or blog-comment, to Him.
A talk always starts and keeps a relationship. Well, I barely know God because I rarely talk to Him―or pray, to be more appropriate. So, I decided to “court” God on His earthly death anniversary; not again through travel to Tawi-tawi, bisita iglesia and the Way of the Cross, but at good with Larry King's Powerful Prayers book on flat silence and empty stomach. The odds are I cannot nurse my Mama in the hospital (God, I hope she is okay) and talk with Greta. “I had never spent 1 whole day with God.” I reflected and that consoled of from the uncomfortable decision.
God exists never is a personal issue. He is my Provides. Promise, He never left me; that is why I am so weak with handling problems and relaxed. My blessings are certainly His works because I have never worked on them. But, I think, I rarely thanked Him.
I read, reflected and started talking―este, praying. But I only had a monologue. No instant messages from God, just crickets and frogs. My prayer couldn't be a prayer if it is not a dialogue. So, I prayed more. Then, Papa texted, “...arang-arang na imong mama...” [your Mama is now ok].
God replied!
And it was only then I realized God had been trying to talk and befriend me. I thought His blessings were mere obligatory provisions as a Father and a Provider. God was all the while courting me. I was just stone deaf, so He gave me gifts. Then I thought His gifts were also gimiks to win me. But He continued giving even after I said YES to Him―that is, when I prayed. I still have Greta, a healthier body, a happier family, a fulfilling work for peace, an empowering hobby on lomography and frisbee and a cheerful la familia.
I finally have a personal―better, I guess―relationship with God. And it is official kami na.
this is my dream: white-that is wedding & work, house & home, investment or business, travel, (entrepreneurial) events on beach ultimate, photography-lomography and environment. a dream i would be sharing with Greta.
WEDDING
before Greta steps 28, we'd be married in an intimate wedding celebration, attended by our closest family and friends. Greta would gorgeously be wearing a wedding dress that is never a wedding dress but a wearable formal dress. it probably be white but if she has other choice, so be it. mine would still be decided between a barong or a semi formal coat-shirt. ideally, our dresses should be our clothes en route to Singapore right after the wedding. there will be no post-wedding celebration to trim the tradition. wedding dinner would be celebrated 1-2 days before the church wedding at our "green house" in Elenita Heights. the celebration would be a story of our relationship-how it started, how it went and will go through years. family and close friends will testify and narrate them. the traditional cakes and bouquet throw would still be there but never be the highlight. so, a simple but elegant cake and bouquet would do. we'll invite Greta's college and office friends, my 2 ultimate teams, lomographers, art club friends, the La Familia (of course). Kat and lomographers will document the celebration while a band (maybe Kayk or Plastic Butter) will play after the storytelling.
WORK
i would work myself up to be an environment project consultant. i would develop eco-tourism industry in my home city, specifically the 7 "ultimate beaches"-Dahican, Masao, Waniban, Pujada, Sinking Island, Baso and ... i forgot the last. i would still work full-time as a peace project management officer with Gerry Roxas Foundation or United Nations. to do that, I will finish my masteral and doctorate in Urban and Regional Planning.
HOUSE-HOME
our 150-sq. m. property in Elenita Heights would be the first "green house" in Davao City. it will be solar-powered, have a graywater system and use environmentally-made construction materials (one will be the hollow blocks from Sto. Thomas). it will stand 2-stories up with minimal and modern architecture to house my family-Greta and our children (2, the most).
INVESTMENT
i would invest in 3 eco-tourism markets: food, hotel and transportation. as i develop Mati City's ultimate beaches, i would invest in a dining business known for seafood menu, fresh coastal ambiance and 1-floor glass-and-open-air house architecture. it will stand on Baywalk, facing the Pujada gulf. i would also invest in 2-floor 5-room condotel, which will accommodate 5-7 people in each unit. it will stand in our old residence. i would also invest in transportation that will take tourists to the 7 ultimate beaches. each beach will have distinct water activities. activities will range from surfing and skimboarding (Dahican), day kayaking and night boating (Masao), snorkeling (Pujada), diving (Waniban), sand walk (Sinking Island), mountain climbing (Baso) and mangrove walk and swim-with-the-turtle (really forgot the name). Dax' Apo Peak will develop the tour package but rents equipments and expands tour services to locals.
TRAVEL
this is for us Greta. our first destinations would be South East Asia but we would be frequent in Singapore. Australia, New Zealand would be our farthest travel.
EVENT
this event would basically be my outlet for athletic, artistic and environment talent. i would organize "Beach Ultimate (frisbee)" tournament in Mati City every Araw ng Mati on July. it will definitely be a promotional event for the city because it will bring in ultimate players, photographers-lomographers and environmentalists. it would be known for the "beach tours" to commence the ultimate frisbee tournament, photography-lomography contest and environment efforts, ranging from tree planting, island rent-adoption, etc.
all these for Greta and our Mnemosyn. happy 38th month, labs :)
Our society, especially in the development industry, often worries sustainability. To ArtCo, sustaining things is less their concern. The Ateneo Davao-based art club stood effortlessly for 10 years now without us, the pioneers, leading.
Queer but don't good leadership and management sustain things? Not always. A simple friendship and a contagious passion (on art) would do, literally, everything even without the good founding leaders and managers. Look at the 2 world's dominant religion. Islam and Christianity lived through time even without Prophet Mohammed and Jesus. Ultimate frisbee also underwent similar experience.
Sustaining, thereby, needs no good governance and corporate management.
Congratulations, ArtCo!
Pounding my fist, i repeatedly begged to Greta, "i wanted to be a jumper! i wanted to be a jumper! i wanted to be a jumper!"
I wanted to be a jumper. This is finally what i wanted to be. Nothing else, not even Greta. I wanted to freely travel. Jumped from one place to another without jetlags and bus stops. I wanted to travel to Eastern Europe, Norway, Pacific islands, Rome and all unimaginable tos. I wanted to live beyond boundaries and see all the arts, music and beauty of the world.
I wanted to be a jumper and i really yearned it. But id still live an ordinary life. Id still work, walk and live in a small house. I wont rob. Id first find work anywhere until im flatly impoverished, then id steal. When id rob, id lavishly rob for the poor.
Id take Greta around though. Id surprise her everyday before we both report to work. Id daily collect her things from all countries. Id share, literally, all the good things that the world could offer.
Believe me, you too would incredibly ask to be a jumper when you watch this movie. You too would foolishly say, "i found my superhero and i wanted to be a jumper and not anything else."
I often have spontaneous reflections of who i am either at a start or end of the day. For 3 years, i had confusing becoming, a self who is truly not me. It was another stage of identity crisis, however, a surprisingly comfortable one.
I became sensitive (not more), less careless, constructively impatient and angry, aggressive, thrifty, more expressive and family-oriented.
It is indeed never me. It is Greta. And it is only this time I "truly" understand how love, not sex, binds 2 people together. Spice Girls' 2 Becomes 1 instantly tunes in. It is indeed mystical but you can actually understand and explain it. Love is not rocket science. It is as easy as writing our grade school friend's scrapbook :)
Love you, Grets
i always believed i am a natural leader by genes and intuition. that i can lead to achieve change. that i can inspire people. i did! i created, along with friends, the first art club in Ateneo de Davao. ArtCo, in 10 years now, is my sole proof that i can lead.
between ArtCo and now, i found i am less a leader. it didn't frustrate me though. so, i strived learning leadership and re-tried leading. i failed. i realized i do not have the striking charisma, enforcive attitude, superb communication and extensive network. i only have the competency to work things, as instructed, and great new ideas that kept me dreaming of leading.
so, i stayed low. i took the role of a follower, as inspired by the divine teaching of a great leader Jesus-be a servant to lead. following is humbling and gratifying when you make someone's ideas happen. but leading still charms me, especially when you make your ideas happen.
leading is just too inspiring. i even dreamed of running Barangay Captain and managing my own development organization and business in my town. but i'm left saving my ideas and following momentarily because charisma and resources are likely hard to earn fast. stepping up when no one's leading is the most i could do. second-rate leadership doesn't push full initiatives and somehow is disheartening until reading Harvard Business' article about B-players.
i am proud again! i am now a more proud follower-a b player who is considered to be a corporate backbone. without us, ideas and initiatives just don't happen even with good leadership. being a b player is itself leadership-only but off from the limelight. Jesus now made more sense and my ideas aren't in vague dreamland after all. and soon, i will be managing my own club change.
(TANGINA!) I really really REALLY thought today is Friday! I do! Not even a dint of notice. In fact, i am still unshaken of my time warp even at blog-time because i clearly remembered wearing 5 clothes this week. And today is my fifth.
So, i hurried to work without my office keys. Eventually, i ended up sitting in our office hallway because my officemates were not "yet" in the office. It did not worry me though until pass 9. I started rationalizing the days without checking my mobile calendar (i was repititively editing my review blog on Children of Men with my phone). After a brief reflection, i was still convinced it is Friday! But something is shaking me it is not. So, i exited my blog and checked the real date.
TANGINA! I exclaimed with great restrain of a loud disgust. It is Saturday, not Friday! All the cuss words then rushed in with anxious haste.
@*#€?>¥±×≠℉♀ㄆ
It is Saturday! Not Friday! The thought was a paranoia. I could not believe i was time-warped. Then, like any movies with twists, recollections of clues randomly flashed in to shake my hysteria. Kaya pala wala masyadong tao.kaya pala wala masyadong pasahero. Kaya pala konti lang nagtatrabaho. Kaya pala hindi pumasok si Greta. Kaya pala wala ang mga officemates k. Kaya pala!!
So, i walked out from the hallway and worked on things i scheduled for completion on Friday, which is today but in real time not today. It is Saturday, right? :-D
